POST by LIZ: The LOVE Shack!

Elizabeth with some of her boys

As I fumbled my way through my purse hunting for the $20 Radio Shack discount receipt, the cashier asked me typical questions we get when entering places with a mass of Nicaraguan lads in tow.

I explained why we were in the States and why we live in Nicaragua. 

“Wow!” he gasped, after my spill, and at that moment he ceased just being the professional Radio Shack cashier across the counter from me, and revealed his humanitarian heart.  “I really want to do something like that too – I want to make a difference – wow, I bet that must make you feel really good…” and he continued to lavish praise and admiration for the work that we do. 

His eyes were gentle and genuine, but the rest of his words were wasted on me.  I couldn’t get past his phrase ‘I bet that must make you feel really good…’ His words whirled around my head, I couldn’t shake them.

“Make me feel good!” if only he knew how it made me feel.  I wanted to tell him how it really made me feel.  The recent events flashed through my mind like a B rated horror movie from the sixties.

Situations flashing through my mind recalling all the rejecting statements, compulsive lies, and bad attitudes which had been thrown into our path, like ugly weeds growing in a rose bed.

Now to be fair, this particular day had been especially tough; I had started out the day dealing with tired teenagers wanting to get their own way - which of course clashed with my own agenda for them, and I was having a particularly tough season dealing with Yordy, who was slipping away into depression, Rene, who wanted to act like a porn star, and Beycker, who thought he was every girls’ dream come true. 

I wanted to scream out and release the pent up feelings I had harboured and allow those who had taken out their own hurts and rejections on me, to see that I was just human too. I wanted to pour out my bottled-up hurt from constantly being rejected, unloved and unappreciated. 

My captured feelings shocked me.  I didn’t realise that I held on to so much hurt.  Over the years, I had helped many people unlock their trapped hurts and had explained that hurt left untouched would morph into binding bitterness – yet here I was, standing on a polished floor with a beaming cashier believing in what we do, and seeing the mountain of bitterness I had allowed to build within.

Never-the-less, I snapped back into my reality, smiled at the kindhearted cashier man, and said, “Yep, it’s rewarding, but it sure is a rollercoaster ride at times,” 

We left the shop with shouts of well-wishing from all the staff, including the district manager, who was visiting the store and had also taken interest in our life.  The lads were high spirited, and left the shop in normal style; double twists and flips. Everyone whooping and cheering and laughing and totally unaware of the mountain I carried inside.

Later that night I checked my heart before the Lord.  “God, I didn’t realise I was so hurt and I can feel bitterness consuming me.  I want to ‘feel good about what I do’, but right now I just feel that no matter how much I pour myself out, I receive a stack load of rejection, fear and failure thrown in my face.”

“You know what your problem is, Liz?” God shot back at me. “You are doing things out of your own love for people.  Even Jesus didn’t do this!  You think Jesus died for you because he loves you – but this is not true!”

“WHAT?” I thought… “that goes against EVERYTHING I was raised with. ” 

“Well, read the scripture Liz, it doesn’t say, ‘for Jesus loved the world so much he gave his life,’ No! It says, ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only son..’ you see Liz, Jesus died for you out of love and obedience for me! But YES, Jesus does love you – because of my love for you! And this is the way you need to operate too.  If you do things out of your own love for others then you will either only love those that are lovely, but Matthew says... where is the reward in that?! But if you love the unlovely out of your own love, then you will get burnt out, rejected, unloved, and unappreciated. 

Because those who are rejected will reject, those who are unloved will be unlovely, and those who don’t feel appreciated will be ungrateful.   But, if you do it only out of love and obedience for me, then you won’t even look for praise or acceptance from others.  If you do things out of love for me, then it doesn’t matter what the reaction is from the person, because you will only look to me to say ‘Well done good and faithful servant!  Then you will truly be living for an audience of one!  The best part is that your love for others will actually increase – Jesus does love you and did die for you because he sees you through my eyes.  This is how I want you to approach your ‘work’ for me. ”

So, I can’t say that I am fully there yet, but I can say that when I receive the rejecting words and actions, especially the ones so typical from teenagers, they don’t stab my heart like before, because I’m now doing things out of love and obedience for God.

If you would like to learn more about our ministry, please watch our latest update,CLICK HERE

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To learn more about our street theatre production, "CREATED", please visit our page,NICAVANGELISTS: "CREATED", North American Tour (2013)

If you would like to see a video of some of our Nica-Youths practicing, please CLICK HERE

We are not up to budget, and travelling with 14 people is very expensive. We need an investment from Christian people for our next evangelism tour to the Midwest. To support us or make a once off donation, please visit our page, Contemplating SUPPORTING something significant?

POST by JONNY: Scary Christmas!!! (ho ho ho GO!)

Jonny at Niagara Falls



Hello my name is Jonny. My story is about a time with my family during Christmas (On the 25th of December of, 2005).

On that day my mum, like we'd do every year, wanted me and my siblings to go and visit our grandmother's house so as to spend some time with our family.

However, my brothers and sister didn't want to go and so they begged our mother to let us stay at home with the supervision of some friends. Mum agreed, and said that she saw no problem with the plan, but warned us to be careful.

Mum explained to me that she thought it best that I go with her and so I happily said "Sure mum." (I'm the youngest child born to my parents)

When I went with my mum to my grandmother's house, everything was fine. No problems to report. However, my mother suddenly received a call from a friend of hers explaining that my brothers and sister were drinking alcohol.

Upon hearing this news my mother and I left immediately. We wasted no time in flagging down a taxi and going to the house where my siblings were, drinking alcohol.

Once we'd arrived at the house where my siblings were, my mum immediately ran in, and when inside, saw a man that was touching my sister inappropriately. My mum flew into a rage, grabbing a stick and hitting the pedophile.

The man became very angry, because my mum had hit him and so he turned his abuse on my mother, hitting her hard. My mum couldn't adequately defend herself because the man was very large.

One of my mum's friends happened to be walking by this house at that very moment and saw the ruckus. He ran inside to assist her. After a lot of pushing and shoving my mum was able to leave the house, the drink and the physical abuse.

My mum's friend was very mad at the man that had hurt my mum.

My mum's friend went and sought out a large group of friends and explained to them all exactly what had happened. His friends also became angry and agreed to go and seek revenge against this man, because of the terrible things that he had done to my mum and sister. The men went as a mob to the man's house and they started to throw rocks at it, until the house was completely destroyed.

Later my mum's friends went to drink alcohol.

My mum's friends thought that the incident had been resolved, but that would have been to easy... The man, whose house had been destroyed, went and found his friends, and they had all decided to find the people who'd destroyed the house and kill them all. However, they couldn't find the men responsible.

But, before long, they found my mum's friend and they got up in his face and stabbed him in the stomach with an iron pole. These cowards left and a friend of my mum told her about the events that had transpired. She went to where her friend was drowning in his own blood. My mum called a taxi and organised for the man to be transported to hospital.

When they were in the car, my mum's friend tried to get out of the taxi and run, but shortly after died.

Jonny with the EVER ADORING little Izzy, in New York

If you would like to support this fellow on a monthly basis, please CLICK HERE

To learn more about our street theatre production, "CREATED", please visit our page,NICAVANGELISTS: "CREATED", North American Tour (2013)

If you would like to see a video of some of our Nica-Youths practicing, please CLICK HERE

We are not up to budget, and travelling with 14 people is very expensive. We need an investment from Christian people for our next evangelism tour to the Midwest. To support us or make a once off donation, please visit our page, Contemplating SUPPORTING something significant?

To learn more about our home Church in Australia, please CLICK HERE

This story was written by a Nicaraguan youth, and was voluntarily given to Capital on the Edge for publishing. The subject choice was his entirely. He has elected to write about his experiences for the glory of God and so that others may learn from his experiences. The translation of this work is performed voluntarily and not professionally, hence there may be some errors. Any decisive deviation from the text is in consultation with the author, and is done so to make clear the life events written about and to provide further information so that the story is more understandable. 
Hola mi nombre es JONNY

Mi historia es aserca de mi familia ..

25 de Dienbre de 2005 . selebracion de la navidad .

Ese dia mi mama como todos los anos queria que fueramos mis hermanos y ella a casa de mi a buela , para pasar un rato en familia .

Pero mis hermano y hermana , dijieron que no querian ir con mi mama . que mejor se quedaria en casa con unos amigos . y mi mama respondio y dijo . que no habia ningun problema . pero que se cuidaran mucho .

Y mi mama me dijo a mi que me fuera con ella , y yo le dije que estaba bien .

Y cuanondo me fui con mi mama a casa de mi abuela todo esta muy bien , ningun problema , pero derepente mi mama resibio una llamada de una amiga de ella y le dijo que mis hermanos y mi hermanan estava tomando alchol .

Y mi mama cuando resivio0 esa noticia me dijo que me fuera con ella de inmediato con ella para lña casa que habia un prole .. y en eso mi mama detubo un taxi y nos fuimo a casa de donde estavan mis hermanos tomando .

Cunado yegamos a la casa de donde estavan mis hermanos . mi mama entro de inmediato a la casa y cuando ella dentro, miro que un hombre estava tocando a mi hermana y mi mama muy enojada de lo que estava mirando tomo un palo y le pego al hombre que estava tocando a mi hermana .

Y el hombre se puso muy enojado porque mi mama le habia pegado y el comenso a pegarle a mi mama . y mi mama no podia defenderce ya que ella es mujer y el hombre era muy grande . pero derepente hiba pasando un amigo de mi mama y el fue a alludarle , y despues de muchos forsejeos mi mama pudo salir de la casa en la que estava el problema .

Y el amigo de mi mama estava muy enojado porque los hobres habian golpeado mucho a mi mama .

Y el amigo de mi mama se fue a buscar a unos amigos .y cuando los reunio les dijo todo el problema que habia pasado y los amigos de el se pusieron muy enojados y todos se pusieron de acuerdo y fueron a casa de el hombre que estaba tocando a mi hermana y habian golpeado a mi amama . e los hombre se dijieron a casa de el hombre y cuando yegaron a casa de el hombre ellos comensaron a tirar piedras asta casa destruir conpleta la casa .

Y luego los amigos de mi mama se fueron a tomar alchol .

Los amigos de mi mama creian que el prolema ya habia terminado , pero no era a si . porque el hombre los andava buscando para matarlos . pero el hombre no los encontrava a los hombres que habian yegado a destruir su casa .

Pero derepente el hombre encontro al amigo de mi mama. y se le aserco y le entero un hiero en su estomago .Y el hombre ullo y desaparecio yuna amiga de mi mama le aviso a mi mama y mi mama se dirijio a donde estava el amido de mi mama , y cuando mi amam yego el amigo de ella estaba ahogandose con su propia sangre por dentro , y mi mama llamo un taxi para que llebar al amigo al hospital .

Cuando iban en el caro el amigo de mi mama fallecio . y el hombre huyo y no volvimos a saber nada de el . 

POST by RENZ: My Right to Blare Alarms

Aben & Lorenzy

Sunday´s are most of the time very relaxing days for us but last Sunday was insane and sort of scary. It started out really fun. My sister and I went to the German school because they were having a fair and some friends of ours invited us to go with them. Once we got back we swam and had fun and decided that at night time we would have a movie night.

A friend of mine (our neighbor) came to our house whilst I was making dinner. She asked me to go to Covanic; a place that is a university; a home to some people; it has offices, a library, and things like that.

She needed to do some homework and print some things so a few of the Trickster boys, my sister, my friend, her brother, and I went walking because it was just down the street.

When we got back two of the Trickster boys had gotten into trouble for smoking in the casita where they were staying. They had to move into the shed bedroom for a week because of that, but Rene got mad because he said he didn´t smoke in the casita but had let others smoke in there.

One of the other Trickster boys also got mad because Rene had disrespected my mum and so Aben and Rene got into a fist fight. I went outside to see but they had already finished fighting.

Rene went into the casita and then went inside the main house. I followed him because I wanted to talk to him. He walked into the kitchen and got a drink of water, then he grabbed a big knife and went running to the gate to go outside. My mum grabbed his shirt and tried to stop him.

Rene y Lorenzy

I stood next to him and grabbed his arm which had the knife and with my other hand held the gate shut. He was swinging his arms around and he almost stabbed me so I screamed and let go of him and so he went running to where the others were.

I went running the other way to where Fran and my friend were and told them what had happened and that he had a knife but it was too late, Rene and Aben had already started fighting again.

Luckily, Aben had kicked him and so he did not get stabbed. Jamil, who worked for us but now works in the army made them stop fighting. Then my mum came out and told Rene to go inside.

She first talked with Aben and left him. When she went inside she told Rene to go into her room with her. When she came out she locked the door and we started the movie but she went outside.

In the middle of the movie Rene got out by the window but none of us saw him get out. Then Beycker came inside and told my mum that Rene was outside. And so she put him back in her room and he was in there for the rest of the night.

Rene y Aben

POST by LIZ: Foxy Morons

Friday was an oxymoron of a night!

A hundred and ten kids tearing through the centre; swimming, ping-ponging, fastidiously footballing, shooting hoops and basically chilling.  I love these teens. I love seeing the smiles on their faces and hearing the bouts of laughter, and I love knowing that their Friday nights used to be opposite to what they are nowadays. 

People responded positively to the disjointed devotion time.  Lips were actually mouthing the words to the songs our newly formed band belted out. Nicaragua seemed to stop and soak in Lorenzy´s, Fran´s and Yader´s mime performance depicting the physical/spiritual battles we mortals encounter. Heads bowed as Eduardo delivered the message then prayed. It was an awesome time.

But it was also a night filled with heartache; seeing kids as young as eleven high on homemade drugs and intoxicated with potent alcohol; young girls using their bodies to attract lustful attention, and watching the stifling effects of poverty and hopelessness.

We had gang members want to enter without surrendering their weapons, boys fooled into thinking they could hide their substance abuse from us even though the clouded, crazed look in their eyes snitched on them loud and clear.

Many find quick solutions to fix their habit and escape their depression: glue, house-cleaning products and whatever they can use to get that high. Homemade alcohol and drugs are easy to obtain.  Cheap to some, expensive to others. 

Pulperias, who bribe police, sell alcoholic substances that cause stomach rot and bone to decay and throw in a major hangover during this body eroding event. It costs about $2.50 for a 2 litre bottle, (it can be cheaper if the consumer provides the bottle). The word on the street is that two grams of pot costs less than $4, and one stick of marijuana costs less than 50 cents.     

Nicaraguan earnings are next to nothing, job opportunities are scarce, and a quality education is difficult to obtain. As a result, many youth in our barrio and surrounding neighbourhoods, are driven into a life of petty crime and corruption to feed their abusive habits which help them drift out of their harsh reality.

Throughout the night, Nestor pried baseball bats, pocket knives and machetes from hands as they entered through the gate. Jed sobered up bodies by throwing them into the pool, and I drew the short straw in having to speak with the 15 year old girl swimming provocatively in the pool, who was attempting to put into physical action Pitball´s controversial song, “Give me everything tonight”. 

 

My message was short and to the point “WAY too much love taking place right now, and put your t-shirt and shorts back on ASAP coz it´s not okay to go swimming in just your lacey underwear and hot-pink, push-up bra, that btw is two sizes too small!”   

While recalling the events of last night, I remember my dedicated mum. My dear mother, who never ceased to allow a night to go by without grabbing a cuppa T, finding a comfortable spot within a door frame at the top of the stairs, and reading stories of inspiring adventures to my siblings and me as we collapsed into our beds. 

The fairytale, The Faraway Tree, caused my imagination to dream of living and experiencing different worlds and people. The biography of the gang member turned Christian, Nicky Cruz, in Run-Baby-Run, deeply challenged me to truly believe God´s mighty powers of transforming the unlovely when just one person is willing to be God´s vessel.  The urge to develop bold faith – faith like that of David Wilkerson who snubbed his physical fears.

My mother´s sweet English voice hummed out stories, night after night. Stories of missionaries who willingly gave up everything and lived a life totally enthusiastic for the things of God. They all had a deep impact on me. Shaping me and inspiring me; particularly the life story of Jackie Pullinger, a woman who started a youth club for the opium drugged street kids of Hong Kong and made an incredible difference. 

Many have criticised what we have started.  Many have voiced how we focus too much on the fun.  Many have spoken out their concerns for our safety. Many question our state of mind!  (Okay, perhaps this one I question myself at times).  Sadly, it feels that many expect and some even hope that we fail.

And perhaps we will.  But when I see the faces of the oppressed, the broken, the bound, the addicted, the poor, the lost, the craving-for-love, the lonely, the unlovely. I see potential. I naively believe that through all the Friday night fun, relationships are being formed and lives are being transformed.

I don´t have much to give, yet what we have we´ll use. I still struggle with internal conflict and fall more than short of God´s glory and goodness, yet I know that God is using my inadequacies and gently encouraging me to trust him so much more.

Friday was enjoyable and hard!   

“As for me and my house, we´re gonna serve the Lord”