POST by LIZ: Rosetta Groan

Spanish is not my forte!  In school the options were French or German, and I didn´t grow up with Dora the explorer.  You´d think living in Latin America for four years I would naturally be shoved into the guru category of the language – yet I am far from reaching that status.  Before we left Australia, I received the best present ever – the Latin American homeschool edition Rosetta Stone kit from my dear friend, Donna. 

The gift was marvelous!  It moved me from “I know nothing” to feeling comfortable with transactional conversations.   

In January 2011, we were robbed – the thieves pretty much gutted the place; taking electronic items all the way down to basic products such as hair gel and toothpaste!  And yes, my beloved homeschool edition Español Latin American Level 1 Rosetta Stone, was taken in that fleet. 

We work with street kids in Nicaragua, so my Spanish has improved – yet sadly it is now at “intermediate gutter level” due to the type of Spanish my unaware maestros use, in our beloved barrio.

So, during our trip to the USA, we decided to seize the moment and purchase Rosetta Stone.  We looked at the prices and almost had a heart attack.  My coupon-money-saving queen of a friend, Jen, suggested we check out Craig´s list. 

Low and behold, there was a bargain; Rosetta Stone Latin America Levels 1-5 NEVER BEEN OPENED for a third of the price. 

Jed´s fingers did the typing and before I could sit down to enjoy my deluxe block of Cadburys Chocolate, which my darling friend Mugs had bought me, we were out the door, in the car and on our way to meet this mysterious seller.

As we zoomed along the leafy streets of Fairfax, Virginia, Mugs´ words began to echo in my ears; “I don´t know about this Craig´s List… I´ve had friends experience success through this selling medium, but… let´s just say, anyone can seran-wrap a box…” 

Now let´s detour for a second for a getting-to-know Liz opportunity: When I shop, I always embarrass my husband.  Not only will I haggle on prices but I will also inspect the item as if I were a detective... I check and test the seams in clothes, I examine electrical cords ensuring everything is in working order, I even have new light bulbs checked before I purchase them. I think I inherited this skill from my father, who is an engineer. 

So, naturally, skeptical me went on a mission to convince “A-stranger-is-a-friend-you-haven´t-met-yet” Jed to risk losing this friend for the sake of not being scammed.

The meeting place: Starbucks. Time agreed: 10am  

To our surprise, we arrived on-time (those of you who know us, know what an achievement being on-time actually is).  The seller rang to say he was running a little late but would arrive shortly.

Naturally, I took full advantage of this situation and walked off to check out the nearby shops; knowing full well Jed couldn´t move from his position to control my purchases!

Jed´s head poked through the door of the shop, “Liz, he´s here and I need you to… ya know, do your thing...” I finished up my browsing and headed back to the "bucks."

A twenty-something, fairly good looking, southern-European chap was sitting at the coffee table with a yellow Rosetta Stone box in front of him.   

We sat down.    

The man passed the plastic wrapped box to Jed, who turned it around and around in his hands.

“So can we check it out?” Jed boldly asked then passed it to me.

“Well, it´s never been opened…”  The brown-eyed seller started to say before I interjected stating our assurance of purchasing it and providing a list of reasons why it was important we just quickly check the contents.

I heard the beginning of his “okay,” and pierced the plastic wrap with my key.  As I opened up the treasure, Jed sought friendship – starting up his “getting to know you” questionnaire.

I viewed the contents.  Everything in the box looked intact, though I noticed a slight rip in the sleeve which held the five discs.  The Spanish stick-on-keyboard guide was missing two characters. 

“Okay,” I thought to myself, “so, it´s been opened and he´s just trying to get a few extra $$ by presenting it this way,” But I still wanted him to know that I knew that it was not a virgin box, “hmm that´s strange isn´t it!” I said as I showed him the evidence.  Honestly though, at a third of the price, I really didn´t care.  I just wanted the fountain of language knowledge this material was certain to provide.

He looked a bit puzzled and explained that it was an unwanted gift from his Aunt. He wondered if she used it before she gave it to him. He´d held onto the kit for a while with every intention of using it, but he needed to buy books for university so decided to sell it for some extra money.

I had decided to bring my laptop with the hope we could just check the program and see if it worked properly. I motioned my head to Jed suggesting that he load up his laptop. 

Jed loaded up the machine. “Um, do you mind if we just check that it works?” Jed asked, as I was inserting the disk in the drive. “It´s just, ya know, Craig´s list and yep, we sort of wanna make sure and all,” He continued as the disk whirled into action.

“Sure,” he replied politely.

Jed pressed the start button, whilst simultaneously learning that the chap was a student at a nearby university who liked action films, but hadn´t yet seen the newly released batman movie.

As I rifled through the box looking for quick set up information, I caught the man checking his watch.  The smile had an “oops how embarrassing” look to it. 

“I bet he is thinking, ´Who are these people? Can´t they just hurry up and give me the money so I can continue living my life.´” I thought to myself. But regardless of what he thought, he remained relaxed and patient.

I shifted that awkward feeling I had, moving aside the knowledge that we were burning up his precious time with my pedantic actions.

The quick start showed the kit required an activation code. I searched for this code; in the booklet, on the box, inside the sleeve jacket, even the headset.  By now, I was feeling like I really knew the box, yet no activation code could be found.

Jed commented on something that the disk displayed, I looked and said, “No, it´s okay, it´ll work fine”.  “So, it looks like it´s all working then.” Jed chirped.

The patient chap took this as his cue.  He started to stand up. 

I interrupted his standing position.  “Okay, but we still need to find the activation code.  Without that we won´t be able to use all the lessons.”

We commenced the search like a SWAT team searching for drugs as we pulled the whole box and its contents apart, the selling bloke even started to search – but the code was nowhere to be found.

Jed called Rosetta Stone´s help desk.  He explained our situation.  He looked at the headset then said “No,” He passed the phone to the seller.  There were lots of “uh-huhs” and shifting of materials. The conversation was terminated and the guy handed the phone back to Jed. 

“Looks like it´s a fake,” he muttered.  “Mmm” replied Jed.

And with that we picked up our bags and left him standing with his opened “never-been-opened box” fake Rosetta Stone.

We laughed as we drove away, only relieved that we hadn't thrown our money away and not feeling the slightest of remorse for the inconvenience we'd just endured. It goes to show, there are people all over God's green Earth, who seek to benefit themselves at the detriment of others. Sad for them they don't live for more, as it is most certainly better to give than receive.