POST by LIZ: Running Around in Circles

For Christmas, Sezni received - and I quote - “the coolest present ever”. His doting Uncle Tim and Aunty Bindi sent him the Lego Batman DS Chip.

Since Christmas, Sezni has been glued to the DS for far-too-many-hours, I fear if I told you exactly how many hours I would fall from my coolest mum status to bear the title “most irresponsible parent”, as quickly as Billy can inhale a plate of cookies. 

Always seeking moments to maintain my “I’m a cool, in touch mum - even if I don’t bake” status, and more importantly, trying to grasp at any opportunity that enables some type of connection with my rare-thinking, almost 10 year old son, I found my ticket in.

Seeing Sezni’s enthusiasm towards this intriguing game, I asked him if he could show me how to play it.

Without raising his eyes from the console, he passionately talked of a world with multiple levels, building profiles, and reeling off names such as; Ivy-Goon, Harley Quinn, the Scarecrow, Riddler, Penguin and The Joker.  He flashed a quick look at me and seeing my confusion he said.  “Hmmm, Mum? It’s best if you just watch okay, then you’ll learn.”

So watch I did.  This black Lego Batman-man was running around like an ant trying to retrace its tumultuous trail. Suddenly there was a flash of green and red.  “Watch out Sez” I cautioned, “Um, Mum, that’s okay. That’s Robin, he’s with me,” and the character kept running, what seemed to me to be, in circles. 

After a while of watching Sezni run his character from wall to wall, with Robin close to the heel, I thought to myself how little action was taking place. I used to be the space invaders guru, where I would spend every second dodging falling bullets from the sky, so all of this running back and forth seemed somewhat pointless and tedious to me!

Still trying to maintain my “I’m a cool mum, I’M COOL!” attitude, I asked him if he enjoyed just running around the place. Sezni retorted, “No mum, I’m not just running around. I’m searching…” Then his voice trailed into nothingness as he drifted back to PC-landia. 

“Oh right,” I nodded, “Searching.. yes, quite..”I said, trying to convince him that I fully comprehended what was taking place.   After a few short seconds, which felt more like a life-time, I noticed a door. “A DOOR SEZ!”I exclaimed, “Go through the door.”

Sez chuckled, but maintained his fixed gaze upon the tincey machine. “Nah, Mum…” as his thumb continued pressing the forward arrow.

“But why Sez? Why don’t you want to go through that door? Mummy thinks it looks like a delightful door. It’s purple for crying out loud!!!  Isn’t that what you are searching for – a door so you can change locations?” I pleaded. “No Mum, I need a key first...”

That was the moment that the game suddenly became interesting to me.  A KEY! He was searching for a key. 

Up until that moment, I must confess I had been bored, confused and frustrated with the game because I really had no clue what the purpose was.  I thought Sez was just moving his character around aimlessly, yet Sez was deeply into the moment: he had a mission to complete. 

I watched a little while longer, now understanding the important task at hand.  I celebrated in his successes of finding the key but didn’t stay around to see Cat Woman put behind bars.   

As I watched, with new awareness, Sezni play “the bestest game ever”, it made me reflect on my life. There have been many times that I have lost my focus and have just been aimlessly running through life without much of a purpose.  Not understanding why I had to be in a particular place in my life.  I have used precious energy running around, and instead I could´ve gone to my “help source” (GOD) who would reveal his purpose.

I would like to say that once the purpose had been revealed to me, then I was like Sezni, dedicated to finding the key so that I could get to the next level. But unfortunately, even though God reveals his purpose to me for particular stages I face, many times I have lost sight of God´s plans, questioned whether I really heard correctly, and have grown disheartened.

On saying this, I’m happy to say that Jed and I have entered this year extremely focused.  Before we even met each other, God had revealed to us what his plan and purpose is for us in this lifetime.  Throughout our 15 years of marriage, God has continually confirmed it to us.   Yet before getting to the top level, we have had to start with building our profiles, collecting keys that will later unlock difficult doors. 

When we look back at all the study, places and situations we have had to face this far, we can now see why those times have been incredibly important for what God has in store of us this year. 

Some “levels” have been harder than others, and I’ve even tried to ignore levels to then find out that I do have to go back and complete them before I can go on.   

I thank God for his patience with me in getting me to this new stage, and I pray that this year, as I face new challenges and successes, that God will continue to remain my number one focus.  I pray that I will not allow myself to run around using all of my energy on things that will pull me away from the mission God has given me, and my family, to complete.