It’s been a zany week – Jed was robbed by a gang of
youths while he was filling up at the petrol station in the early hours of the
morn – hardly ever do we have huge amounts of cash, so it wasn’t like they hit
the jackpot or anything; he ain’t no granpa driver either, so he floored it
home and made the necessary calls to the powers that be – thank God, our
accounts were untouched.
But this petty robbery has affected us greatly. No access to banks means that we have been
unable to purchase food for the week etc. Naturally, this is also the week that
our much needed rear-end tire decided to split in two!! AYE CAREYE! For the record: this is the 7th
popped tire we have incurred over the last 3 months! (Note to self: send prayers up feverishly requesting
that oh-so desired four wheel drive with tough state-of-the-art tires!)
And YES! We have been told by many different people,
on many a various occasion, that we Brien’s seem to have the worst luck in the
world!
But I am going off on a tangent - so I will make no
haste in disclosing to you my main reason for shedding this insightful piece of
info: Without a car with wheels, I am forced to do my traveling using public
transport.
Now hear me out - I have nothing against public
transport or anything, but honestly it’s hard to stay cool, calm and sane when one
is squished up against other hot, sweaty beings, where every area of your body
is cruelly meshed with another’s - like we are all just pieces of playdough
that mold together and form some terrible ghastly sculpture entitled ‘Sick
Joke’.
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| Elizabeth in Wisconsin - Where is she? Who knows... |
I confess that I found it particularly difficult
trying to function as a civilized human being today, I was faced with a tough decision
as to which passenger I’d be better off to face: the sweltering, perspiring,
lass whose armpit was so close to me that every time I dared take a breath, the
hair from her armpit would tickle the insides of my nostrils, or the elephant
wrinkled faced fellow with sandpaper stubble and a wry grin sporting two
crooked, yellow tarnished, gappy teeth and a breath which smelt like a cocktail
of pig-dung, cigars and rotten eggs and kept calling me his ‘amor’.
But the swerving, swaying, bipolar bus deprived me
from drawing a solid conclusion; engulfing me with these oddly characters and
throwing several more my way to-boot.
As my limbs slowly started to numb, my eyes remained
active - drinking in the status quo. As
the bursting bus swallowed and spewed, swallowed and spewed, I looked at the
conductor and the driver – we were nothing to them, just another body to cram
into the overly full space, we were not even a number – what was the point in
counting!
I started to picture the lads whom we have taken in
under our wing. They have lived their
whole life like this. Feeling as if they
are more of an inconvenience to their families, their friends, their society –
feeling insignificant.
Yordy is one that struggles with feeling insignificant
– that it wouldn’t matter if he lived or died - as a result he causes a lot of
pain to himself and to us who love him.
Eliezer is another who believes this lie – that he is
a nobody – so he thinks his actions and words affect no one – when reality is,
his daily decisions are huge waves that wipe us out.
My own precious daughter, Lorenzy, has ridden the
roller coaster ride of ‘feeling insignificant’ – convincing herself that she
doesn’t matter.
And if I’m ready to be honest with self – I constantly
push away the thoughts that what I say and do are some feeble efforts that seem
like one tear drop in a vast ocean - my feeling of insignificance talks me out
of being someone who God wants to use to be rather momentous spiritually!
I am seeing that feeling insignificant is dangerous
ground!
A person who feels insignificant will not think their
actions nor words, make any difference.
They will live a life that breeds destruction and death and remain unaware
of the mammoth impact of their very being.
Insignificances is an ugly virus that the devil spews
onto us as he knows the spiraling death it can bring about. Believing the lie
stops us short of living a fulfilling life.
Someone who feels insignificant is actually incredibly
significant! They are just deaf to the blazing negative impact their actions of
insignificant cause.
I am realising that my actions and words, as a result
of trusting my feeling of insignificance, have greatly wounded and scarred many
people but yet, when I know and live out a life that reflects who I am in
Christ, the enemy’s plans are thwarted and the lies he feeds me are seen for
what they are - nothing.
